Olivia Wilde says deciding her children were better off with their parents living apart was the most painful choice she’s ever made. She and Jason Sudeikis separated in 2020 after 9 years together, and she’s describing the sense of failure that came with giving up the family life she’d imagined.
“My parents are still together and have an incredible relationship. They worked together for many years; they’re both journalists. And I always thought that would be me,” Wilde said. “We’re told if you’re good at it, you’ll stay with someone forever.”
Wilde, 42, and Sudeikis, 51, share son Otis, 12, and daughter Daisy, 10. Having children together made the decision to separate especially difficult.
“It feels like a failure when you can’t make a relationship work, particularly if it’s with the person you have children with,” she said.
She described the hardest realization: “That is by far the most difficult, painful decision I’ve ever made in my life, to understand that it was not better for my kids to live in a house where their parents were not aligned.”
Wilde says she’s proud of the way she and Sudeikis now share parenting responsibilities, while emphasizing how much work it takes. “I really take pride in how good we are at co-parenting our kids in my family. We have reached this healthy equilibrium.”
She also said children pick up on tension adults try to conceal. “When you’re trying to hide it from your kids, they sense it. They’re the most intuitive people in the house.”
Sudeikis has reflected on his own communication during their relationship, saying on Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso: “If I’m feeling a certain way and I don’t talk about it, that doesn’t make it go away. And it’s unfair for someone to be a mind reader.”
For Wilde, their arrangement has brought relief alongside the difficulty. “I feel relieved that I’m able to give them a life with parents where there’s a real sense of authenticity in terms of how everyone’s feeling and doing.”